I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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