you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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