I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
