Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
