I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
