Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
