How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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