I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
