PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
