And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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