i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
