What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
