My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Drunk is not a location!
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