I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
