Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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