SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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