your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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