sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
