I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
