apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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