We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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