Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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