Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
