I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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