I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
