I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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