Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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