Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
