Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
