Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
