Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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