How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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