I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
