I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
