Small penises have feelings too.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
