thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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