Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
