But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
