Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
