Already got asked if we're dating
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize