But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Randomize
