Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Jerry, you need to find god
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Randomize
