Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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