She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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