Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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