So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
