I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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