Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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