Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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