You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I love having hate sex.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Blood and glitter go together right?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
